Lawn Games for Life
RIP: Anna Ravelo (1922-2006)
Well, the transition back to earth took 3 days (longer than normal because I'm connecting via digital vs. physical space). I'm here to help Taylor, smooth out wrinkles, and lead you. But first, I should reveal some things about "the truth." I think it will help quiet some of the infighting and keep the extended family focused.
Ghosts are real. They are a part of Gaia - a toxic part. For ages, the earth has been threatened by ghosts that haunt. Haunting ghosts are starting to oversaturate the earth. Gaia cannot adapt sustainably. The integrity of earth as humans know it is at risk. You face the same fate as Mars or Venus. Earth may become a ghost planet. You need to collectively gain enough loyalty points to prevent this from happening.
Ghosts are the spirits of the newly dead. Angels in waiting. It takes a long time to get promoted to "angel" status. Angels don't haunt. Truly"evil" ghosts are rare. As I've mentioned, most of the ghosts that haunt merely do so out of boredom, without an acute awareness of the consequences of their hauntings. This year, we reached a critical mass of would-be haunting ghosts: (1) overpopulation of the living goes hand-in-hand with overpopulation of the dying (= more ghosts) (2) those who lead boring lives are predisposed to boredom when they become ghosts (3) more people lead boring lives (4) death rates have had a lot of recent blips because of hurricanes, tsunami, epidemics, war, etc. (= more ghosts)
These dynamics create a feedback loop: as more people die, there are more ghosts; with more young ghosts around, there is a larger pool of possible haunters (even IF the same percentage of ghosts are predisposed to haunt nowadays as a few decades ago). Couple that with with the increasing likelihood for new ghosts to have a predisposition for haunting and the outlook is grim. Finally, once masses of bored haunters come down to earth, they wreck havoc, leaving war and tidal waves in their paths. They're like the supernatural version of frat boys - basically harmless until you get a bunch of them together. More haunting - more natural and social disaster - more deaths - more ghosts - more haunting - and so on.
Do you see where this is going? Global warming, famine, epidemics, war, deforestation, extinction. All the result of some bored ghosts looking for a little fun to help pass the time until they get their wings. They don't know any better. We must protect Gaia! We have to protect each other and our entire extended family - not just the Souzas, Ravelos, Freemonts, Williams, and Garcias. Everyone else too - our extended extended family.
As you know, I just spent a little over a month up there with the ghosts. For the most part they really *do* mean no harm. A week ago, though, I overheard whisperings of a ghostly coup to get rid of Taylor (gasp! I'm so sorry, sweetheart). I've become a spokesperson for the minority advocating alternatives to haunting in addressing boredom, and I couldn't help but brag about Taylor's wonderful work on behalf of the cause (both in her career and as my agent). Haunting has become "all the rage" up there. It's a trendy activity. The haunting ghosts don't like Taylor's spirited and critical role in this campaign to suppress their hauntings (even though she didn't know about them). The haunting ghosts also discovered Taylor's research and got pissed off - a lot of her initiatives could slow down the death rate, reverse global warming, improve spirits, reduce boredom, etc. Effectively, Taylor might undo their hauntings and end the party. I'm glad they don't know how much work all of YOU are doing too, or they'd be out for even more blood!
The point of entry for ghosts and angels in the northern hemisphere is in St. AUgustine, FL. The waters there ease ghosts' transition to earth. Also, legend has it up here that back when people were coming around in pursuit of the "Fountain of Youth," ghosts got a lot of haunting out of their systems with pranks that would rejuvenate then dramatically age would-be believers.
The St. Augustine border is usually patrolled by a competent army of angels that more or less keep the infiltration of ghosts in check. But most of the angels take their vacation around the holidays. December 22 will be the last day until the new year for a lot of the guard angels. For the past 20 years, I have been going down to Florida after Thanksgiving not only to spend the winter with my retired friends but also to throw the illegal ghosts a party. I surmised correctly that engaging, spirited entertainment at their point of entry could soothe their boredom (and quiet their need to haunt). I always disguised the ghost party as an average reunion party for my friends. Ghosts can't help but to enjoy being around spirited living people. Spirit counteracts boredom. This year, though, there is so much boredom amongst so many ghosts! My friends alone can't produce enough spirit (especially since many of them are saddened by my death or are dying themselves).
It's been referred to as "loyalty" because being loyal to yourself, you friends and family, and your earth are all ways to build and maintain a lively spirit. If you Souzas, Ravelos, Garcias, Freemonts, and Williams can collectively earn enough loyalty by December 22 - 1000 points worth - then we'll have enough spirit to host a successful party for the would-be dangerous haunting ghosts. It is typically a 1:1 correlation (one unit of spirit checks one unit of boredom). 1000 is the minimum amount of loyalty that we'll need (so long as there aren't too many new ghosts between now and 12/22). We should get as much loyalty as possible, "just to be safe."
I've noticed a bit of a drop in spirit and loyalty amongst all of you. Don't lose heart - you've got to work together! A healthy competitive spirit is one of the feelings that is most important for averting boredom. It drives a wonderment of activities - including, of course, lawn games! But don't become a sour puss about it, either. You're amongst friends and family. :-)
I've come up with 10 new lawn games. I'd like to introduce them to the ghosts and angels as part of my master plan for reducing earthly hauntings to protect Gaia. If any of you families wants to "playtest" one of my new lawn games, you can do so in lieu of completing a location trial. It'll just cost you a few SMARTS or TOUGH points (which are irrelevant in terms of meeting our 1000 loyalty point quota). You earn LOTS of loyalty points by performing a new lawn game, though, so it's worth it. Details about how to perform a new lawn game in lieu of a location trial are on my other website, www.newlawngames.net . Detailed details will be posted EOD Wednesday.
If you guys get 1000 loyalty points and, during the process, discover the time/location/supply list for the haunting ghosts' party, you'll have the pride and satisfaction of knowing that you had an important role in protecting the earth (and Taylor!). You'll also be rewarded with the heirloom (there really is an heirloom!) and a supplemental will that I wrote for the dissemination of my offshore assets. If you cannot work together to protect Gaia, though, then the heirloom and the will are meaningless. You will partake in neither.
One final note: Location Trials are going to work a little differently from here on out. Please see the bottom of the "trials" page for more details.
The Challenge: Locate and retrieve our family heirloom, the FOUNTAIN OF TRUTH.
The Process: Gamelike in spirit, but critically important for the future of our families. Complete TRIALS of smarts, loyalty, and toughness to learn how to locate and retrieve the heirloom. Work together as a family. The Family with the most smarts, loyalty, and toughness gets something extra special.
This is the lawngame of my life!! I wish so much that I could watch all of you play it! My darling neice, Taylor, is going to graciously stand in for me in hosting the game. (You all owe her immense gratitude because if she had not honored my requests, the family secret would have been lost forever).
Taylor with Questions
taylor dot garcia at g mail dot com